This week, we peel back the layers of resilience—an entrepreneur's armour—and reveal how the stories we narrate in our minds can either anchor us or set us adrift.
It's a peak inside our personal beliefs and their transformative impact on our professional lives. This isn't just about bouncing back; it's about reconstructing the narrative of your experiences to chart a course toward lasting success.
As we near our 100th episode—yeah, you heard right, 100! we'd love to hear from you. Please give us a rating or share a review.
Join The Ascension Circle @alannabankscoaching.
Join Ryan's The Simple Social Sanctuary.
A few excellent ways to support us are by subscribing to the podcast on iTunes, Google Play, and Spotify.
Joining the community on Instagram @itsthenoexcusespodcast and learning more about what we offer @alannabankscoaching and www.alannabanks.com and @ryanmontisnlp and www.ryanmontis.com
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Want to sponsor an episode and promote your business and social media profiles? Send SPONSOR to @itsthenoexcusespodcast, and we'll get back with the information. Investment is under $20 per episode.
This week, we peel back the layers of resilience—an entrepreneur's armour—and reveal how the stories we narrate in our minds can either anchor us or set us adrift.
It's a peak inside our personal beliefs and their transformative impact on our professional lives. This isn't just about bouncing back; it's about reconstructing the narrative of your experiences to chart a course toward lasting success.
As we near our 100th episode—yeah, you heard right, 100! we'd love to hear from you. Please give us a rating or share a review.
Join The Ascension Circle @alannabankscoaching.
Join Ryan's The Simple Social Sanctuary.
A few excellent ways to support us are by subscribing to the podcast on iTunes, Google Play, and Spotify.
Joining the community on Instagram @itsthenoexcusespodcast and learning more about what we offer @alannabankscoaching and www.alannabanks.com and @ryanmontisnlp and www.ryanmontis.com
BUY A MUG! Visit our merch store, No Excuses Outfitters.
Want to sponsor an episode and promote your business and social media profiles? Send SPONSOR to @itsthenoexcusespodcast, and we'll get back with the information. Investment is under $20 per episode.
Let me tell you something, Alana Banks you got to be tough if you're going to make it in this world.
Speaker 2:You do.
Speaker 1:You got to be resilient. You know what I'm saying? I do, I totally know what you're saying.
Speaker 2:If you're an entrepreneur or you're running your own business and you're just getting up every day and get going and make it happen and do all the things that you want to do, you do have to have toughness, you have to have resilience. You've got to have a North Star, which we can talk more about in a bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think a lot of coaches, a lot of entrepreneurs see a little bit of success and then get overwhelmed and give up, or don't see success quickly enough and feel bad and give up. Yeah, listeners, we want you to not do that. We want to talk today about the role that resilience plays in your business and in your life. We want to share some of our important beliefs or secrets, you might say, related to how Alana and I individually embody resilience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's the name of a game. When you're an entrepreneur, when you're running your own business and having to hold yourself accountable more times than not. I guess I'm actually just looking at the definition of resilience. It says the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties and toughness, the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape, elasticity. I like that. It's true. Sometimes you feel like you're just going through the ringer and then, yeah, you have to bounce out of it, bounce back.
Speaker 1:Bounce back. Yeah, stuff comes up, even when things. I'll give you the example from my life business is going really well for me right now. Really well. Things have been steadily growing in the weeks of months, as they have been for a while. But at the same time with rapid growth comes sometimes overwhelm or increased pressure or increased stress or shorter deadlines or whatever.
Speaker 2:Or more responsibility too.
Speaker 1:More responsibility. I've been celebrating a lot of good success lately, but I've also been at a significantly increased stress lately because of it, and it's okay to be in that situation, especially when it's temporary, if you embody an adequate amount of resilience you will get through.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm with you on that and that's why it's so important. I don't know if we've talked about this on the podcast before, but it's so important, especially as a coach, because you're not just a business owner, but you're also a coach most likely if you're listening to this podcast and so you not only have to have resiliency as a coach. When you're working with people and giving a lot of your energy and yourself to someone, you need to be resilient in that you're taking care of yourself, because that can take a toll, but on top of it, you're also an entrepreneur, so it's just the resiliency within just your business. So it's like a double whammy sometimes. I find right, Like if business is going really well and you are seeing a lot of clients, like you can keep up maybe with the self care, but you've also got a business to run, and that can take its toll too if you don't have certain beliefs or systems in place in your mind to be resilient and keep going.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's get into specifics. We got three, the three key beliefs that Atlanta banks embodies in order to have high resiliency. Three key beliefs or secrets that yours truly, ryan Montes, has put down on paper to share with you today about resilience. Number one from Ryan, I choose the meaning of the events that happen in my life. So here's what this means folks, beans, folks, human beings are meaning-making machines. I think I've heard a lot of banks say that specifically before, but it's an important understanding. There are events that happen in our life that we become aware of and then our mind attaches a meaning to that event. Whether you realize it or not, it tends to happen automatically. Often it happens outside of our conscious awareness, and taking control of what meaning your mind and your heart attaches to the events that are happening in your life is absolutely life-changing.
Speaker 1:It means the difference between being upset about something or not caring. It means the difference between finding something funny, finding something highly offensive, the meaning that we choose to attach to the events that are happening. It literally changes our neurology. It changes our destiny, it changes our quality of life.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I always try to be very intentful, especially with the more tricky or the more difficult or the more unpleasant events that happen in life. I try to be really careful about what meaning I attach to it. If somebody is mad at me for something that's happened in business, am I going to attach to the meaning that that means I've had a business and I should quit? Or am I going to attach to the meaning that maybe they just had some personal thing going on in their life and my product or my service wasn't compatible with them at that time and it's okay and I can carry on and be happy Because the rest of my clients are all thrilled with the product and service that I'm giving them. What meaning we're attaching to events very important in?
Speaker 2:taking control. So important, so important.
Speaker 1:That's the first one on my list.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's just going to give you resiliency in your entire life, not just business. If you adopt that Because there's so many things out there and people love to attach meaning to people in your life will attach meaning to what you're going through as well. So if you adopt this belief of I choose the meaning of a given event, then it's difficult for people in your life to persuade you away from whatever it is you might be doing too. You know what I mean. Yeah, because that's a really easy road to go down, especially when people close to you, who care about you a lot, are sharing their meanings of things that are going on for you. But you're like I got my own meaning. I'm good, that's yours, I'll keep mine, thank you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. I think maybe a couple of examples would be helpful for this one just to really drive home.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I gave that one example. Let's say you have a client and all of a sudden they go from being nice and happy and satisfied to hating you and demanding a refund. And whatever you could attach, you could assume that means you suck and you've done something horrible. Or you could assume that means, well, something's gone on in their life, potentially and it's not about me necessarily, right, yeah? Which meaning that we're going to attach to the event. And again, you may want to seek evidence to support one or the other or disprove one or the other, but if we just always assume the worst meaning out of every event, well, we're not going to stick around in business too long, probably.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's true. Yeah, or if you don't have any, this is actually going to take me into my point. But if you don't have any clients this month, right, and you make it mean that you're a failure and you shouldn't be a coach anymore or something like that, then that's not true, is it? There are other things that you could be doing. It could just mean you haven't been putting yourself out there as much. It could mean so many different things, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you're a bad coach and shouldn't be in business anymore, which kind of leads nicely into one belief that I have.
Speaker 2:I feel like this is kind of similar to yours, but it's just that I am not my results, so I don't attach meaning about my self-worth to what might be going on in my business.
Speaker 2:So if a client is mad at me or I mess something up or I'm not hitting my targets or people aren't liking my content, I don't make it mean that I'm worthless and undervalued and I shouldn't be in this business.
Speaker 2:I just recognize that it's maybe some external factor, it has something to do with them, it has something else to do, but it's not about me.
Speaker 2:And this is a tricky one to get behind and this took me a while to really think clearly on, because I remember feeling like when I had my fabric store, it was so easy to just sell my fabric and when people weren't buying it I just was like, oh, they just don't like that design or that color or whatever. I never attach meaning about myself. But then as soon as I got it and I know that this is true for some other people because I've had some conversations with other coaches this week on this topic when you go into business for yourself and you're selling you, you are the brand and people are buying your service. As a coach, it's easy to go down the road of attaching meaning and attaching your results, meaning something about you and your worth because you're the product. So this mindset, or this empowering belief, is crucial to adopt when you're a coach, when you're selling your own service, because once you adopt this, you will have resilience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, so it was. I am not my results.
Speaker 2:Very good, I am not my results. Yeah, I am not my results.
Speaker 1:Connected to, but not exactly the same as I get to choose the meaning of the events that occur around me. Definitely related. Okay, cool, cool, love it Shall we. Okay, you wanted to go back and forth?
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, I like going back and forth.
Speaker 1:Cool, that works for me, easy peasy yeah.
Speaker 2:It helps with my resiliency, yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean, ladies and gentlemen, it's great. You know you should be flexible about things until it's time to not be flexible. Right, you don't want to be inflexible all the time.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You don't be flexible all the time. I like to be easy going. Yeah, when possible, you know, and then, and then I'd stand my ground when I need to Right yeah, which is kind of like a multiple box, which also leads to being resilient.
Speaker 2:Right Like, sometimes, you do need to know when to stay in your ground and when to be flexible.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, sometimes you got to chill. Yeah yeah, sometimes you got to be not chill. Anyways, all right. Number next Um, my second belief that I've adopted, which I think helps me be very resilient, is the understanding that it's going to be hard sometimes, and that's okay. Life is going to be hard sometimes, and that's okay. Business is going to be hard sometimes, and that's okay. Everything's going to be hard sometimes, and it's okay.
Speaker 1:And just being able to be in a hard part and recognize this is a hard part, it is temporary, it is okay. What do I need to do? To just carry on and get through this? Just having that understanding that you know the challenges are going to come. That's okay, it's normal. Face them, do your best, Keep going.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think that's life too. Like you know, when I think of that, it's kind of like that's what keeps things interesting, because would you want everything to be just like amazingly okay all the time? I mean maybe that would be nice, but then I think it would get boring.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Right and you need to go through difficult times or maybe, like I feel like, when you're in that sort of difficult time or that tough time where you're having to, like, juggle a lot of things or manage different responsibilities, you're in a period of expansion.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And it's like a recalibration and so, like you're you know you're in this like expansion, you, when you have this mindset of it's, I'm just going through something difficult right now and I'm going to be okay because you're going to figure it out, and then this is going to become your new normal, right, it's just like recalibrating the, the energy like around you, and then you're going to like go through another hard time and then you're just going to like recalibrate to that level. And then you'll look back on you know these other tough times and you're like, oh, that's nothing compared to like what's happening right now. Right, and that's resilience, because you recognize in that moment, like, how strong you are, how resilient you are. You know what your capacity is, right, yeah, because what's the? Isn't there like a quote around, like that we're only working within like 10% of our like total capacity, or something like that?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, something like that. It's like we don't, you know, humans only use. There's a couple of variations out of one which is not true. It's that we only use 10% of our brain. That's not true. We use 100% of our brain, right. But I think the more accurate one is that, like we only use 10% of our potential at any given time, or our potential exertion or our potential, like full capacity, something like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think it's true because you don't? I mean, I remember when I became a mom, right, like things that used to make me tired, things that used to just like totally exhaust me, or when I actually thought I was tired when I became a mom and like my capacity for like exhaustion and like the amount of things I could do in one day went from like 10 to like 100. Like it was just, and I was just like, oh wow, I had no idea, I had all this in me. Right, you know, I'm just using that as an example because, like, people can relate to that. But, like you know, we have so much capacity and we don't know what we're capable of until you push yourself right and you go through the tough stuff.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or maybe you're having to deal with like other things. It doesn't have to just be kids, but it could be like other family obligations, elderly parents on top of your work, and all the other things that you have to be doing. Yeah, I like the hard times, you know. I think they're good. They're good for you.
Speaker 3:There you go.
Speaker 1:Lana Banks loves the hard times. Mm-hmm, did we get to your second point? Yeah, I don't think so.
Speaker 2:No, I'll add mine in. So my second point is knows our protection. So what I mean by that in terms of resiliency is sometimes you're going to fail, sometimes you're going to like want something and you don't get it. Sometimes you're going to want to I don't know have a specific client and it doesn't work out. And I always look at these setbacks or these knows or these failures as the universe protecting me, and I know that kind of sounds a little bit like out there, but you know, I do really believe that there is a plan for you. And that's not to say that you can just like let everything go to you know the universe and let it's just going to work out Like you have to take the action steps to get to these places. But you know, if you look back and connect the dots and you see the things that didn't work out or that failed or you know you weren't able to do in that moment, you'll see that it was a stepping stone to something that was actually in favor of your best interest.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And sometimes you don't see that in the moment, but in hindsight you're like okay, that's why that didn't work out, because it opened up space for me to do this thing, which led to that thing right. So, adopting this belief that I mean it's similar to like there's no failure, there's only feedback, or something like that. It's like similar to that in terms of just like don't look at it as a no or a fail or you did something wrong. Look at it as like expansion, it's leading you to something better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it probably wasn't going to work out anyway.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I really like that. Actually, I might try to work that into my belief structure a little more. This, like you know, it's for the greater good, right? Yeah, something doesn't work out the way we planned. It's like I know there's a lot of different variations on this belief.
Speaker 1:You know, this is also like a very like religious belief too. It's like, well, you know, when something doesn't go the way we hoped, you might hear a very religious person say, well, that's God's plan, right? Which I think is really similar. It's another way of saying it's okay, let's just assume this was for the best, right, or you know, or, as you say, it knows our protection, or you know, there's so many different like nice ways to term it Totally. But yeah, let's just, why not just again? We can attach the meaning that we want something. We didn't get the result we were hoping for, expecting. Rather than attaching the meaning this is a reason to be sad or upset, let's attach the meaning I want. I'm going to assume that this is not happening and because this is not happening, that means something even better is going to happen.
Speaker 3:Yeah, let's operate on that assumption.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that one has been extremely helpful for me, because I having this belief has also allowed me to almost never feel let down.
Speaker 2:You, know, like and I shouldn't say that I don't ever I mean obviously, like I get disappointed and human, but it's an easier turnaround for me, so like I'll be disappointed and then I'll be like, well, it wasn't meant to be, it's not part of the plan. And if this is going to lead me to something else, that is part of the plan. And the other thing, too, that I would attach to this is that, you know, a fail and no, something not working out doesn't have to be a forever either. It can just be a not right now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Two, that's another kind of like belief, like that's a sidebar to this one Just be a knock right now. Yeah, I like that too. That's another good.
Speaker 1:Like quick on the fly reframe.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then it allows you to be resilient and just keep moving because you're just like. You don't need to dwell on the disappointment of it, like, just keep going, it's fine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Like, even with like a setback like if you feel like you're almost at something. And then there's a step back or a setback. That's a good reframe. Right there it's like okay, this is just a setback and I'll carry on and I'll get there Right.
Speaker 2:Like, yeah, there, maybe there was a few more lessons I need to learn. You know what I mean. Like that's what I think of too, and there's a setback is just like I wasn't quite ready yet or I needed to. I need to learn one more thing or have one more experience, or whatever it is.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right, let's get into these last couple. Here's my last one. And my last one is negative. Emotions are suggestions, not commands, and they're temporary. And so, again, this is one that's been in my mind recently because there's a lot going on. Like I said, in my business lately I'm under a little bit of pressure, you know, onboarding a lot of new clients and introducing a new program, and so attached to that is discomfort and stress, and the and for me, you know, obviously discomfort and the physical symptoms of stress are unpleasant. Right, you might term negative, even though they're not really negative.
Speaker 1:But you know, for me, working through this is the understand.
Speaker 1:You know, being able to work through this is about having the understanding that you know, just because I feel discomfort or just because I feel a so-called negative emotion, that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm on the right path. I'm doing the wrong thing, I need to stop what I'm doing, I need to retreat or withdrawal right. And negative emotions as Tad James used to say about anxiety are telling you to pay attention to what's going on, to what you are doing, to what needs to be paid attention to right. And there are strong suggestions, but they're not commands, right? Fear is not a command to run away. It's a suggestion to pay attention and make a decision about what you should really do next right. And so I think that understanding about these negative emotions and we're emotion-driven beings, human beings, whether you want to admit it or not, everybody you are but having this understanding in many cases will be one of the things that will help you get through the challenging times. In my experience and my opinion, yeah, I love that too.
Speaker 2:I've definitely adopted that. Also, when it comes to pain, when you said it's time to pay attention when you have a negative emotion, if you have chronic pain as well, that stands for pay attention inside now right, Because sometimes if you don't pay attention to the negative emotions, then what happens is they start to manifest in your body.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then the last place really for them to show up is pain in your body. And then you're like okay, I got to pay attention to this, I got to address whatever it is that. So if you're not paying attention to your fear or your anxiety or whatever is coming up for you, then it's going to start to manifest in your body Like tension, headaches, stiff neck, stomach aches, all that stuff. We don't want to get there, because then you've kind of gone too far. The other side.
Speaker 2:So if you can pay attention to those negative emotions, then that's going to give you the resiliency to keep going, because this is a command to your mind or to yourself that it's like okay, I got to pay attention to this feeling that's coming up for me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, agreed. There you go. I think we got that one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we got that, the one on the cover. Well, anna Banks, why don't you take it home with this last?
Speaker 2:Yeah, this last one. So this last one. I mean I don't know if this is just like a thing that I do or what, but I just decided that I'm an entrepreneur and that's the belief that I adopted. I think it's really important. I think self-image work is really important and if you're going to take on the persona of an entrepreneur, you have to decide that that's what you are and there's no turning back, sort of like your mission mindset. It's just like I'm on a mission.
Speaker 2:I decided this is what I'm doing and I'm doing it and that's the type of person that I am. That's served me very well and given me a lot of resilience in my business, because, I mean, I'm at 10 years as an entrepreneur at this point. So it's just like I'm not going back. And I remember having this conversation actually with my 10-year-old son. He's only known me to be an entrepreneur and I was having a moment, I feel like last spring, and he was like Mom, you're not the type of person that would have a job, you're not that type of person. And hearing that from him, I was just like, okay, yeah, you're right.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You're right. Yeah, my persona to him is entrepreneur, working for myself, and that is my persona. That's the self-image that I've adopted. So I mean, easier said than done, I think, and I was saying this before we recorded it's easy for me to say I'm just an entrepreneur and that's what I've decided. But having that as part of your neurology is pretty strong. It's a pretty strong belief, and then to go against that it's almost like you're giving up on yourself.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, don't do that.
Speaker 2:That's how I would feel at this point if I was just like oh, I'm going to pack it in. No, I'm not going to give up on me. My self-image that I've created and I mean I'm not going to lie it's been fueled by a little bit of fire in my belly around, just like past experiences in the corporate world, and it just didn't really work out for me in that realm. So you know, there's part of me that really wants to prove that I can do this.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think that you know a lot of entrepreneurs probably have that similar fire.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do know what you mean. I think I'm due to kind of polish up my self image a little bit. I definitely have always had that kind of self image of being an entrepreneur, which is why I suffered so much when I was an employee.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But you know, a self image is more nuanced than that right, and so I think it's something we all should be revisiting regularly, right? Yes, and perhaps, like you know, you're more into the self image scene than your old pal Ryan here, but maybe it's like something that people should be formally revisiting once a year or every six months.
Speaker 2:Oh, 100%. Yeah, Well, I'm running a workshop February 2nd at noon Eastern time.
Speaker 3:Holy jumbun.
Speaker 2:That's called the confident coach had to create a self image that screams leader vibes. If self image work is something that you're interested in, come to my workshop. But because I knew we were going to be talking about these beliefs today, I, just for fun, like opened up an old journal that I had and and it's February 15th so it would have been last year February 15th and like I've got a journal where I write my self image and I was reading through some of these I am statements and I'm doing it like it's it's all happening, you know, and like this was my own visualization. This is what I was creating. So you can also create an image of resiliency. I think is you know, I agree, important to mention like especially in this resiliency episode. You can just like we were talking about lead leader vibes last week. You can cultivate a person like leadership personality, but you can also cultivate a leadership personality that is very resilient.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, you certainly can and should 100%, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm busy on that on February 2nd and 2pm. So the second to the fourth. I'm running a three day part of hypnotherapy certification. So everybody you know you got two choices on February 2nd you can go to Atlanta banks is self image leader vibes workshop or you can come to the first day of my three day Hypno certification. Like I said, it's an American board of hypnotherapy certification. Just make sure you don't do it either. Make sure you come to one or the other.
Speaker 2:Yeah, gotta do one or the other. I mean mine will be recorded. It's just a two hour workshop, 12 till two.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, you know what I thought you said? It started at 2pm, it starts at noon, that's right. Yeah, my training, I think, starts at 130. So yeah, I mean I'm not sure if that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, potentially a person could do both. If somebody tells me that they're going to your workshop and they need to be 30 minutes late for my class because they want to do both.
Speaker 2:I'll give them permission to be 30 minutes. Give them a pass.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I will.
Speaker 3:I will.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, although it might be something to do after the training, but I expect I'll run the workshop again, but you know, if you are available, definitely I highly recommend, highly recommend, working on your self image Did you mention the investment for the workshop oh, $197. $197.
Speaker 3:Canadian or US, us, us dollars.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 3:Cool yeah, cool, well worth it Well worth it.
Speaker 2:Yes, well worth it Okay.
Speaker 1:Cool, so yeah I guess that's it for today.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's it. Stay resilient.
Speaker 1:I still have a couple of spots in that hypnosis training. If anybody hears this in time and yeah, they should they could potentially hear this on Monday, so they'd still have.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they'll hear it Monday. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Days to enroll. So, as of recording time, I still have a couple of spots in that, in that training, if anyone wants to hop in, and if, and any of you who passed graduates of my three day hypnosis training if you're listening, remember you're allowed to come back and redo the training as a refresher at no cost, right, if you've previously graduated from my hypno training. So come on back if you want to hang out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm a grad right, yeah, and the banks?
Speaker 2:Be like 100 banks. Take the training. Cool, okay, awesome.
Speaker 1:Thank you, bye everyone.
Speaker 2:Bye everyone.