No Excuses Coaching with Ryan Montis & Alanna Banks

Five Ways to Destroy Your Dreams in 2024

December 25, 2023 Ryan Montis & Alanna Banks Season 4 Episode 14
No Excuses Coaching with Ryan Montis & Alanna Banks
Five Ways to Destroy Your Dreams in 2024
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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Ever wonder how to ruin your chances at success spectacularly? 

We have the ultimate anti-guide to squash your dreams in the new year, with humour and insights. You'll chuckle as we argue the merits of going against the grain.

By the end of the episode, you'll be well-equipped to pursue your dreams—or expertly avoid them, depending on how you take our advice!

Book a palm reading or join The Ascension Circle @alannabankscoaching.

Join Ryan's The Simple Social Sanctuary.

A few excellent ways to support us are by subscribing to the podcast on iTunes, Google Play, and Spotify.

Joining the community on Instagram @itsthenoexcusespodcast and learning more about what we offer @alannabankscoaching and www.alannabanks.com and @ryanmontisnlp and www.ryanmontis.com

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Speaker 1:

Here it is. We're going to give them how to, finally how to do it, but how to do what?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, how to do it. Well, I'm tired of all the motivational talks and all these success lists that we've been doing. Since it's right before the holidays, I thought it'd be fun to have some laughs and inject a little bit of humor into these lists that we've been doing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know, have some tongue-in-cheek humor about how to destroy your dreams in 2024.

Speaker 1:

How to do it, how to destroy your dreams in 2024.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and these could be like personal dreams, this could be business dreams, this could be your health goals, but we're going to give you five ways to destroy your dreams in 2024.

Speaker 1:

Are you ready? I'm ready.

Speaker 2:

Are you ready for this?

Speaker 1:

I'm ready for this. We're really going to do it. How to destroy your dreams. I closed the list by accident. Okay, you start all over.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so number one is don't tell anybody about what changes you want to make in 2024. So if you've got big sites, big goals, you got something you want to change, you want to transform. Just keep your mouth shut, okay, don't tell anybody this one's contentious. I've heard the opposite.

Speaker 1:

I've heard. If you want your dreams to come true, keep your head down and your mouth shut, and take action.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I've heard that too. But the way I look at this kind of a thing right is you still, even if you are going to kind of keep your head down and keep your mouth shut, you still want to have like one or two people who are in your corner who are going to support you and you know who are going to cheer you on, no matter what. So even though I have heard that as well before, like don't tell anybody about what you want to do, I think even still you do tell one or two people. But you know, on the flip side of this in this list, don't tell anyone means you know if you keep your mouth shut, then no one will know if you've failed. So isn't it easier to just keep your mouth shut? Then you know, speak up and share your dreams and put it out there, put yourself out there, maybe on social media, make mistakes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I heard that so it is real yesterday from a friend of mine, big manifestation coach. He's got tons of followers online, anthony Serino. You might have heard him and he did this. Real is like the four steps to manifest anything, and one of them I think I'd have to watch it again to be sure, but I think one of them was like talk about what you want to manifest a lot, like tell people about it. And he said it's because it makes you accountable, right, like once you've said you're going to do something, you know you don't want to be perceived as being inconsistent and it'll make you want to do it more. So yeah, I mean I'm curious what the listeners think on this one. But yeah, so how to destroy your dream is don't tell, that's right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

The changes you wish to make.

Speaker 2:

Cool. So basically, in a backhanded way, we're saying shout your dreams from the rooftops, share it. Share it with as many people as you want.

Speaker 1:

Is that what we're doing? We're not just giving literally giving people an instruction guide on destroying dreams.

Speaker 2:

Well, we can do whatever we want, because this is our podcast.

Speaker 1:

Do whatever we want. Imagine, if you know, we said there's five things on the list and then we just finished number four and then we're like, okay, everyone that's a good week, but didn't even like mention that we're skipping the last one. Imagine if we just did that.

Speaker 2:

Would anyone?

Speaker 1:

notice. We could, people would notice and we could do it because it's our podcast. Now we're not going to do that, probably no. But okay, watch out folks.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, all right, okay, number two. What's number two?

Speaker 1:

Next is how to destroy your dream in 2024. Only think about how what you want might be perceived by others. Only think about it in terms of how it will be perceived by others. Example you want a million dollars. Well, what's what's anti? You know, anti, elaine. I'm going to think if I say I want a million dollars.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So you're going to say money is the root of all evil, timmy Right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. Better not start that business because if you start that business then like Uncle Joe is going to be like that's really risky. You know, you should keep your job where you have a consistent income and you have a paycheck coming every month. What if the business doesn't work? Yeah, aren't there like a thousand bill of catrillion life coaches out there. Why would you choose that as your business? That's just silly.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. So basically, I guess the advice here is. I mean, yeah, you probably want to consider the genuine advice of people who you actually respect, or people who I should say you will respect. But also here's one tip Don't take tips on starting or growing a business from somebody who's never started and grown a business.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I agree yeah.

Speaker 1:

Don't you know, don't take a warning not to go to a place from a person who's never been to that place.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Definitely will destroy your dreams if you do that.

Speaker 1:

And also don't worry what people think. If there's something you want to do, do the research, find out if it is indeed a good idea for you to do it and then, if it is, do it. Don't base your decision based on other people who might have limiting beliefs about that thing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And you want to know how you can figure that out? By looking at your poem.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 2:

So the index finger represents your identity, right Like who I am and where I'm going. So if you like shake your hands out and then you just let them fall on the table, palms down, and like see, kind of like, what position your index finger is in, if it's nice and straight, then that tells me that you have confidence. But you know what you want, you know what you like, you have your own identity and you don't really care what everybody else thinks.

Speaker 1:

What if it's not? And what do you mean by straight in terms of like bendiness?

Speaker 2:

No, just like sometimes, when people put their hands down, their fingers can be like really close together, or they could be like open, or like one finger, it could be like leaning towards another, and so there's like lots of different ways that I can tell like your identity, like how confident you are with who you are, based on the positioning of your index finger. Also the little mound, like if you turn your hands over and you look at the mound of the finger, so like the little kind of fleshy bit at the base, like where your palm is. If that's well defined, then that also tells me that you have a lot of confidence and you're not really going to care what other people think.

Speaker 1:

All right. Just a little aside. Good People should book a palm reading with you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, they should, because my rates are going up.

Speaker 1:

Way up.

Speaker 2:

January 2024, my palm readings are going up to 150.

Speaker 1:

USD. Still bargain, but yeah.

Speaker 2:

So get in now 88 bucks until the end of December. You can book into the new year, but you got to book before the end of December.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, that's good.

Speaker 2:

Cool.

Speaker 1:

All right, let's go to the next one on the list how to destroy your dreams in 2024, the definitive guide Number next is three. Take everything personally.

Speaker 2:

Perfect advice, great advice.

Speaker 1:

This won't just destroy your dreams, this will just destroy everything your self-esteem, your relationships, your income. You take everything personally. Yeah, don't do that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, don't do that.

Speaker 1:

Don't do it.

Speaker 2:

And I think a lot of the people that listen to this podcast know that the way everyone is reacting to you or responding to you is just a reflection of their own stuff. So, nothing is ever personal. It's always just a projection of how they are feeling or what they're thinking.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah don't take things personally.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, don't attach meaning to events that is harmful to you, right?

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Like you know, I'm trying to think of an example, but, like people do this all the time, human beings are routinely guilty of this. There's an event, we assume it means something about us or about the world, and that something or about us or about the world is both not true and is harmful to us, right.

Speaker 2:

Let me give you an example.

Speaker 1:

I think I told you this years ago. I was in the grocery store and a complete stranger gave me the finger. Say anything. We didn't have any interaction before or after this happened.

Speaker 2:

Wow.

Speaker 1:

That person gave me the finger.

Speaker 1:

I was the only one in the area he was the only one in the area, middle finger straight up at me Right Now. I could have assumed I could have attached many meanings to this event. This is a true story, by the way. I could have assumed that I was a bad person. I deserve to be accosted by this offensive gesture. Right, and a lot of people probably would attach that meaning to the event, or they would assume they did something wrong to that person, whatever. Or, you know, I could attach the meaning that that person is probably having some problems. Right, something's off about the way they're interacting with the world, right?

Speaker 1:

now, yeah, something's up with them, I think you know I don't remember what I thought about it at the time, but I believe right now I would just love to not attach a meaning to it, to just be like well, that is an interesting thing that happened and I don't care.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

We'll go on with my life, right, yeah, but a person who's chronically taking things personally, something like that happens they're going to feel bad about it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, don't do it. Or they're going to cry, or they're going to get upset or angry.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, go to the manager, call the police. Those might not be bad ideas, but you know. But don't take it personally.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, don't take it personally. I've been experiencing this big time because, with my viral Instagram reel and all these new people in my life, I'm experiencing bad comments for the first time and I honestly don't care, like that's how. That's where I know I've done so much work is because before I would have really cared and I probably would have attached a lot of meaning to it, but I just don't care. Yeah, because I know that I'm you know, I know that my work is good and I know that what I am presenting works and these people have their own beliefs and that's there. That's on them, not on me.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, existently.

Speaker 2:

All right. Number four on how you can destroy your dreams in 2024 is don't be a tryhard or take pride in your work. Don't care about like, don't you know? Don't let people know how hard you're working. Don't take pride in all the effort you're putting into your work. Don't do any of that, because if you do, then people might think that you're trying too hard or you know you're working too hard, or like that you actually care about what it is that you're working on your life or your business or your health? Yeah, yeah, If you actually cared, is that a bad thing?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. Don't do that, folks. You know, if you want to sabotage your dreams, then just you know, take it easy, don't work too hard ever. Just you know. You don't want to be perceived as somebody who goes all in. No. You don't want to get what they want in life. You don't want any of that.

Speaker 2:

No.

Speaker 1:

And if, for some crazy reason, you really want your dreams to come true in 2024, maybe you think it's okay to put in the effort, make things happen, you know, and to take some pride in your work and to go all out for a while if it's something you're really passionate about.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it might be a good idea. Maybe, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

Just saying yeah, whatever, yeah yeah.

Speaker 2:

Work hard, be proud, love your work. Tell people you know miss parties because you're too busy doing something that you love, like that's okay. Or you know cancel plans because you're working You're allowed to do that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, oh, love it All. Right, there you go. We got number last.

Speaker 2:

Number last. Already, that was a short. Yeah, it's like a short episode.

Speaker 1:

I guess that's good. People don't have a lot of time, right now, you know. We always go too long on the episodes, though, honestly.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we have lately. They've been too long.

Speaker 1:

It's like it's good information. Yeah, you know.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but it's nice to have a short episode every once in a while it's not a short episode, sometimes yeah.

Speaker 1:

Number last, number last. If you want to destroy your dreams in 2024, do not open up or be honest.

Speaker 2:

Great idea yeah, when I think about this, I think about not being honest about your needs. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:

Right. A lot of coaches, a lot of entrepreneurs are afraid to ask for help, afraid to ask for advice from their peers, afraid to seek advice from mentors, afraid to seek feedback, and that comes down to not being honest with yourself and others.

Speaker 2:

Totally yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, this is like not setting boundaries, not, you know, I think there's this whole thing about like, if I open up and I'm honest, then I might get hurt or I might get put down or I might, like you know, maybe no one will help me. So it's just easier if I just like put a cork in it, don't say anything.

Speaker 1:

Put a cork in it, yeah, yeah, so well, I mean, if you want to destroy your dreams, yeah, put a cork in it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, put a cork in it. Just stop talking. Put it up. Don't ask for help, don't say anything, don't express your needs. It'll make your life a lot easier, trust me.

Speaker 1:

A lot easier.

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm, all right. So are you guys ready to destroy your dreams in 2024?

Speaker 1:

If that's your aim, if you're ready to destroy those dreams in 2024, you have the instructions.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, right here the full instruction manual.

Speaker 1:

Boom, get on it.

Speaker 2:

Get on it. Yeah, I certainly am not planning on destroying my dreams in 2024. What about you?

Speaker 1:

I'm not, I'm not planning to.

Speaker 2:

No me neither. So, I mean, I guess you could accidentally destroy your dreams by doing these five things.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you could, but you shouldn't, because now you're aware of them. So if you, for some reason, you don't want to destroy your dreams in 2024, you can just reverse engineer this list. Do the opposite, boom.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, done.

Speaker 1:

There you go. Awesome, cool, all right Finally a quick one and this is sorry.

Speaker 2:

I think this is going to be our last episode for 2023. Yeah, cool, how about that? Yeah?

Speaker 1:

Last episode how to destroy your dreams in the new year, awesome, cool.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, and we'll be back in the new year with maybe more ways to destroy other things. I'm not sure.

Speaker 1:

How to destroy your garden.

Speaker 2:

Or maybe we'll just do a whole season on how to destroy your life.

Speaker 1:

Kill, crush, destroy the destruction season. I'll figure it out. We got some good stuff coming up in the new year, though.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so I want everybody to go onto Facebook and put in the search bar there the mission and movement group free group. I've rebranded it. There's a whole story behind that. Lots of really cool stuff coming in the new year. Or shoot me a DM on any social media platform I'll get you the link. But the mission and movement Facebook community for hypnotherapists and LP coaches et cetera, it's open now. Go there, hit the join button, answer the couple of questions and get in there, because there's some great, great stuff happening.

Speaker 2:

Oh, and someone has entered the contest. I just opened it.

Speaker 1:

I know there's a contest going on inside the group right now and I just opened the contest a couple of hours ago. I've already got one entrance.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, really good prizes, but you'll have to go check out the post in the mission and movement Facebook group to find out what those prizes are.

Speaker 1:

You got to go check it out, yeah, yeah. And what about you, elena Banks? What do you got going on?

Speaker 2:

I'm still crushing it on Instagram, which is very exciting, and I am also offering well, like I said in this episode, my rates are going up in January. So if you want to get a poem reading at the 2023 rate, do that now Go to my Instagram at Elena Banks Coaching, and I'm also booking breakthrough sessions NLP breakthrough sessions at a reduced rate until the end of December, but booking into January. So if there's something that's not working in your life and you want to completely transform it, this is the session for you, and you can find out more by just sending me a message on Instagram. That's it.

Speaker 2:

Cool Love it, yeah, so happy holidays to all of our listeners. Thank you for being mega fans and listening. All year we grew by 119%. I think that was what I read before we got on here, so that's pretty exciting.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

We had 49 episodes. Well, it'll be 50. 50 episodes that's so cool. So two weeks out of the year we didn't do an episode.

Speaker 1:

Nice. Wow, that's pretty darn good.

Speaker 2:

That's pretty good, Pretty good. And we are in 42 countries, the top ones being the US, Canada, the UK, Germany and Switzerland. So thank you everybody for listening.

Speaker 1:

Germany and.

Speaker 2:

Switzerland, yeah, pretty cool.

Speaker 1:

Cool, we're international.

Speaker 2:

International podcast over here yeah heck, yeah, ok, cool.

Speaker 1:

So I guess that's it for this one. Happy holidays everyone Merry Christmas, happy New Year and see you in the New Year.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, bye.

Speaker 1:

Bye.

Destroy Dreams in 2024
Don't Attach Meaning, Destroy Dreams