No Excuses Coaching with Ryan Montis & Alanna Banks

Five reasons to defy the constraints of time in coaching.

October 09, 2023 Ryan Montis & Alanna Banks Season 4 Episode 4
No Excuses Coaching with Ryan Montis & Alanna Banks
Five reasons to defy the constraints of time in coaching.
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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

If you're putting the coins of time into the slot machine of life and hoping success pops out, this episode will be a good mindset shift. 

The concept of 'paying your dues' is less about time and more about quality and efficiency.

Discover how this approach can transform your coaching journey.

Book a palm reading or join The Ascension Circle @alannabankscoaching.

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Joining the community on Instagram @itsthenoexcusespodcast and learning more about what we offer @alannabankscoaching and www.alannabanks.com and @ryanmontisnlp and www.ryanmontis.com

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Speaker 1:

Hey Alana, do you think we have time for a story on today's episode? Because I would love to hear a story if there's time for a story.

Speaker 2:

I mean, there's always time for a story, don't you think?

Speaker 1:

No, I don't think that, but I think today there's time. I mean, sometimes you're gonna hurry, sometimes you know the red coats are coming, whatever right Like, but I think today we have time. Today we have time for a story. The red coats are not coming anytime soon that I'm aware of.

Speaker 2:

So Okay, well, I think we have time for a story. I have a story that's related to time or that may kick off this episode about time and my dislike of time. But when I was in university, I needed to find a job quickly because I wanted to stay in London. I went to Western, I wanted to stay in London for the summer and I needed to find a job to pay my way and I thought the best way to make a lot of money was to be a server. But I didn't have any experience. So I went on like a whole bunch of interviews and I kept getting turned down because I didn't have any experience on my resume and finally I was sort of fed up and I went to this one restaurant and it was actually a new restaurant that was just opening. It was like a diner and I'm being interviewed and this the owner whoever was interviewing me again said the same thing you have no experience. And I kind of had a moment and was just like listen, if I don't have any experience and I keep getting shut down by all these restaurants because I don't have experience, then how am I going to get experience? So can you just hire me? And if I'm the worst server ever, then you can fire me immediately, because I really, really want this job, and so I convinced him to hire me, and then they ended up being a great server and everything worked out, and I proved my point that you don't always have to have a lot of experience in that specific thing in order to be successful or be really good at whatever it is you're doing.

Speaker 1:

Wow, okay, what a coincidence that that happens to be the story that you shared and it is directly related to the topic of this episode of the no Excuses Coaching podcast with Alana Banks and Ryan Montes.

Speaker 2:

I know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Well, and it may be a story that our listeners can relate to if they're just starting out in their business as an entrepreneur or they're just starting out as a coach, right, but they know that they're really good at what they're doing. And even though they're just starting out, there's this idea that you have to be doing something for a long time in order to be really good at it, or you have to have all these years experience piled up behind you to be really good at something. And often this is like something someone will ask you right, like if you tell them oh, I'm a hypnotherapist or I am a coach, a lot of times the first thing someone's going to ask you is oh, how long have you been doing that?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And that's a cue that they are limited by time, in my opinion.

Speaker 1:

Potentially. I don't think it's an absolute if somebody asks you how long you've been doing something, but I mean that could be a hint that in their personal hierarchy of values they think one of the most important things that determines a person's ability is how long they've been doing something. And I mean I think a lot of people have that belief because that's kind of the standard mindset that's drilled into people. It's like you want the promotion, while you got to pay your dues, spend X amount of time doing this role before you can be promoted to that role. You want to get a good job, while you got to spend X amount of time suffering in school that you don't enjoy so you can get the good job. It's really ingrained in our culture. And I think for the first time for a lot of people the first time that gets flipped, or they start to realize that no, it's not always about putting in the coins of time into the slot machine of life and hoping that success comes out. When you leave the kind of employee world, you leave the normal establishment world and start to get into the world of business or entrepreneurship or leadership, you start to realize there's less and less and less correlation between this time and paying dues and so-called hard work and results. And I think this is particularly relevant for our listeners, because how long you've been a coach has very little in many cases to do with how skilled you are as a coach and how much revenue you produce as a coach.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I agree, I agree, and I think that my whole purpose about having this discussion on the podcast is to help shift the listener's mindset away from using time as a trap to potentially limit themselves in their business or their goals.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And to really think about time too, Like what are your thoughts about time and how long? Or is this something that you believe Right? This whole idea of, like you have to pay the dues, you've got to put the time in before you can do what you want to do? And is that holding you back from success, from putting yourself out there, from starting your coaching business, you know, from getting clients, like all of that? Yeah, because it's quite possible. And also, you know, be mindful of the conversations you have with people about time and even how you answer that question, because that's something for me that comes up, where people will ask me how long have you been doing hypnosis, how long have you been reading poems, how long have you been doing all of this stuff? And what I am discovering is this is a question that I need to be prepared to answer in a way that is empowering and positive for me and building rapport with the person that I'm talking to, and oftentimes, when they ask me this question and I'm not giving them the answer that they want, which is, oh, the last 20 years, then that can be a rapport breaker.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And so how can we like reframe that question or how can we reframe the way we answer that question to, to appeal to people who have the belief that you need to pay your dues or put a bunch of time in to.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, it's interesting. You know when you're, when you're an entrepreneur or you're a coach, you know perception management is something to be mindful of. You want to be mindful of how you are perceived and basically, to the average shopper, the average consumer, you know they have a set of unconscious criteria that they're unconsciously, subconsciously ticking off in their mind for whether they want something or they don't, they do it without realizing. You know price, availability, you know credibility, all these, all these things. And if we're not careful as a coach, we can actually put ourselves in a position where we force the potential client to judge us based on their existing default criteria, one of which is going to be well, how long has this person been doing XYZ? Because it's, it's a default thing. If I'm going to go to a restaurant, how long is this restaurant been open? Or that there are lots of reviews accumulated. If I'm going to hire a painter, how long has this person been painting? You know, do they have 20 years of experience or do they have six months of experience? That's standard criteria for standard products and services. But what we need to understand is that coaching is not a standard product or service. It's kind of unlike any of the other product or products or services that we can buy. So when we play that game and like we put in our profile, you know, oh, I've been doing this for two years and you know we kind of play, or you know what would the word be?

Speaker 2:

Well, when you're putting in like standard descriptions that you know maybe other businesses would be using, like 20 years of experience, or, you know, maybe like what brick and mortar stores would have like as part of their description, I don't think that. I think what you're saying is that doesn't apply to you.

Speaker 1:

It doesn't apply unless we allow it to apply. If we kind of submit to the idea of traditional criteria being applicable to a coach, then people will try to apply that criteria to us. But if we ourselves have the belief that, well, even though I just kind of started doing coaching last week, but I bring with me a lifetime of experiences, or I bring with me naturally ingrained gifts, or I bring with me this, that or the other and I know I have the ability to help people, I don't care how long I've been doing this. If somebody doesn't want to work with me because I haven't been around that long, they can kick dirt right, for lack of a more elegant term. And so I think my big message, before we get into some of the key points here, is that you know, rejecting this idea that you're limited because of something to do with time starts with you, the individual inside and your beliefs about the world. Right, and it is that shift from the employee mindset, where time is very closely linked to all result, to the entrepreneur mindset where it's like well, no, I can make a lot of huge things happen in a low amount of time, or I can take my time to get smaller things done. There's really no rule.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, and I think too, how you can discover that within yourself, if this is sort of a new concept or something you haven't really thought of before, is look at your relationship with time. Are you the type of person who you know is on time and like thinking about time and worrying about time, Like these are all bits of evidence to suggest that you're locked into that perspective, that time is like a big deal for you?

Speaker 1:

right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Whereas, like on the flip side of that, you might be someone who always thinks they have more than enough time, or you're constantly late or running to things because you know you're not in time, like you're not always thinking about time and like worrying about what that might be.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so that would be your first clue to figure out like, where are you on that spectrum time? You know, for me, for example, like I always think I have more than enough time, I'm very optimistic when it comes to time. I think I can get like so much done and like the five minutes I have before I have to leave the house or something. You know, yeah, I never think about time when I'm, which to me, to my in my life, is sometimes a disadvantage because, like, I get lost in conversation and I, because I'm never looking at the time, yeah, and that can be annoying for people because they're like, is this girl ever going to? Like stop, or can I go now? Like yeah, and so that's obviously something that you have to be aware of. Anyway, should we get in? Let's get into it.

Speaker 1:

Let's get into it, okay, good, next person follow up. Okay, hello, let's see here. So this list to me seems very it's a little bit abstract, it's a little bit conceptual, so maybe we could like look at these points. And these are, I think belief shifts around time. The first one is the idea of quality over quantity, and this is connected to, in my opinion, a limiting belief where the longer it takes to do something, the more valuable it is. And the brilliant counter example that I've heard come up in our industry is do you want to hire the dentist who takes three hours to do your root canal or the dentist who takes 20 minutes to do your root canal, assuming the end result product is the same?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'll take 20 minutes.

Speaker 1:

We want the shorter, the faster journey to the result.

Speaker 2:

So somebody who's?

Speaker 1:

either been doing something for a long time or takes a long time to do something. That is not necessarily an indicator of a higher quality or a better experience, and in a lot of cases it's just not. And in a lot of cases people are going to pay more for something that takes less time because then they're protecting their time. And we see this with coaching. It's like a lot of people in the coaching industry kind of pat out their courses, pat out their products, because they have this unconscious belief that well, if I'm going to charge $5,000, I need to give a ton and it needs to take forever for my client to consume it. Well, that comes down to your belief. If you adequately articulate the result the person's going to get from working with you and you show testimonials and say, hey, I deliver on what I promise, then actually it's the reverse the less steps they have to do to get the result, the more they're going to be willing to pay you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, totally agree with that. Yeah, it's the quality, because it's just like you could and I've experienced both. Right, I'm sure you have too, where you go into a six-month container and you don't really achieve the result that you wanted. Or you work for a couple of weeks with someone, or you have one conversation. This has happened to me before where I've literally had one conversation with a coach and it's completely shifted my mindset to something new and I've had an aha moment that's changed a lot of things for me. I really believe in the quality. It's all about the quality. Someone could ask you one question that could take you six months with another coach to discover.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right. Yeah absolutely Cool. Then you have to ask yourself too what coach do you want to be? Do you want to be that powerhouse coach that literally asks you one question and done and then you move to the next? Or do you want to be that other coach who spends months and months and months working with someone one-to-one? That's your own personal choice too. Some people might like that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Working for a long time, Whereas you may want to be more. Well, that's going to take us into our next point. Maybe you want to be more the efficient coach. Maybe you don't want to spend six months with one person. Maybe you want to be cruising through a whole bunch of clients.

Speaker 1:

Right. Well, I'm not to say that longer programs or more intensive programs are always patted out or always inefficient. A lot of them are not. We need to forget this idea, that there's this strict correlation between time spent and value received. Right.

Speaker 2:

I know what I wanted to say. I think sometimes, when coaches are just starting out, it's the default to create a three-month program, a three-month coaching program. That's the default. That seems to be what a lot of coaches do. That isn't the only way. Yeah, it's basically what we're saying here. You can do a three-week container. You could do just a VIP day Right. Next one is efficiency and effectiveness. It's possible for someone to become proficient in a shorter time if they adopt efficient and effective learning strategies or approaches.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'll give the audience an example. I spent about 15 years independently studying NLP and hypnosis through books and recorded courses. I learned more in one year of intensive training with masters in the craft than I did in those previous 15 years. I mean, depending on the efficiency and effectiveness of what you're doing, again, you could reach a level of skill equivalent to somebody else, but in a fraction of the time, on a surface level. If I'm standing next to somebody else and I say, well, I've been studying NLP for 20 years, and the other person says, well, I've been studying NLP for two years, but I did it my way and they went and lived with Richard Bandler in his home for the last two years and he's one of the founders of NLP.

Speaker 2:

Who's going?

Speaker 1:

to probably know more Probably that person in a fraction of the time, because they lived with the source and breathed it in all day, every day. You always have to look at what level of efficiency and efficacy are we talking about?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, what is their learning style too? Sometimes you could get really into something and just go deep on it for a couple of months. You're just living and breathing that information and that's how you become really good at something really quickly. It's like an immersion. Like I remember when I was 18, I went to France to do my grade 13 French credit and I had been in French immersion all my life but, you know, got out of French immersion when I went to high school, but I was still taking my French credits. Anyway, I went to France for six weeks in the summer and did an immersive grade 13 French credit, like living in France, hanging out with French people speaking French all the time, and I got to this point where I was dreaming in French and it was so cool, like this was something that had never happened for me before and I was like, wow, I'm really immersed in this and my French was so amazing during that time. Now, all these years later, I can read French, but my French was nowhere near what it was back then.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right, but it was because I was just like in it. I was like immersed in it. And some people may have thought like how are you speaking so fluently when you're not really in this anymore? Well, it was because I was surrounded by it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Living and breathing it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, makes a huge difference. Okay, what's the next one?

Speaker 2:

The next one is individual differences. So people have different learning capabilities and aptitudes for different tasks, right? So some people can just grasp things easily than others, and that's why they can be quote unquote better at something than someone else, because they're just naturally drawn to that information or have like a knack for it, right, like an interest.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, individual differences yeah, that's an important one. And also, like I know we've hinted at it several times already, but the thing that makes a coach a great coach is not how recently or thoroughly they did their coaching certification. Coaching certification, in my opinion, is less about teaching you how to coach and more about enabling you to connect your life experience, your intuition and your own wisdom with the people who need it Right. Yeah, and it's like yeah, if all you're going to do is take the stuff that you learned in a coaching program and regurgitate it at your clients, yeah, you need to know that stuff really well inside and out and apply it by the book. But if you're using it more as a vessel to guide others in your own intuitive manner, based on your own style and wisdom and experience, well, it's sort of like the bamboo that grew underground for several years before one day sprouting many meters into the sky, right. So the individual person again, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know. It's the totality of circumstances really that's going to determine how important or not important specific measures of time were. And likewise with your clients, some of your clients will get rapid results, some will be needing a little more time.

Speaker 2:

Yeah for sure. Yeah, it's kind of like an ability. When you go through the whole coaching program, it's almost like you're figuring out how to draw those parallels and you're like, oh, that's why I experienced this. Or it's even just looking at everything that's going on for you in your life and and being like, oh, I could have this is a learning for me to apply with my clients or in my coaching practice. Or, you know, oh, this is why this is coming up for me, or this conflict that I'm having with a friend can be related to this. So it's really just like so this does sort of go back on the whole time thing, because then you could argue that someone who's older would be a better coach because they have more life experiences.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

You could. But then there are people who live to be 100, who don't experience a ton of stuff in their life, and there are people who are 18 who've had more experiences, lived more done, more seen, more than people who are 90. So I mean really again, there's more evidence or counter example, at least that time is not always the greatest determiner, right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we have this. You want to. I guess what it is here for this specific one about individual differences is maybe looking to see how experienced in terms of life experiences not length of time experiences the coach is, and do they have experiences that are similar to what you want to achieve or wherever you're at?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right yeah.

Speaker 1:

For sure, two more quick ones.

Speaker 2:

Okay, deliberate practice. So this one is all about how much time are you focusing in on whatever it is you're learning Right? So, for example, with me, with Palmistry I've been interested in astrology and reading cards and this whole realm my entire life, so I have a ton of knowledge already that fit into me learning about the palms, plus coaching, plus my own life experiences and so I just naturally I picked it up really quickly and then I really practiced it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right, by studying this one book in particular that I really liked, and then looking at my own palm all the time, like once I learned all the markings, and then looking at my friends and family's palms, like I just was very deliberate with what I had learned and I put it into practice right away. And that's what is that called. When you do that, it's like Speed of implementation. Yes, speed of implementation. So it's like depending on what you learn. If you learn it and then you apply it right away, then it just sort of creates this whole new area of your brain that is tuned in to what you've learned.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, agreed.

Speaker 2:

Cool, and then you can become proficient in a shorter amount of time because you're just sort of like you're so into it Like have you ever been so into something that you're just like you can't get enough of it and you're just like always thinking about it and yeah, and I think that kind of is connected to the theory of like going into flow states and activating flow states where, like you can make tremendous progress or get tremendous results in something in a seemingly impossible manner, but it's possible. It is, and I think too that's why learning with hypnosis is so key. Yeah, Because when I learned palmistry we also did hypnosis, like in tandem, so it was just sort of like we would learn the information but then we would lock it in with hypnosis.

Speaker 1:

That's pretty cool. That's pretty neat. That's a great way to do it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So I think that's also why it went in there pretty quick, because it's like I created this whole mind. It's almost like I created this whole new area of my mind.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

That's just palm reading.

Speaker 1:

That's pretty neat. It's pretty neat. Ok, all right.

Speaker 2:

Last one.

Speaker 1:

Transferable skills. This is what I touched on a little bit before. It's like a lot of people don't realize how transferable their skills, especially on a more metaphorical level, are into a coaching business. Like I was a soldier and before that I was a detective. And sometimes people ask, oh, do you find that helpful in your career now? And I'm like absolutely, it gives me a huge advantage. Both of those things the mission mindset of a soldier and the inquisitive mindset of a detective are absolutely tremendous assets in being an entrepreneur and a coach and I think, if most people remain open to it, there's probably things that you've done in your past that maybe at first glance you don't know it's directly transferable to a coaching business or an entrepreneurial role, but it really and truly is.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, nothing is wasted. When I look back at my career, I just said it's happened the way it was supposed to. I've got the corporate experience. I've got starting and selling my own business experience. Now I'm into the whole coaching and spiritual and the hypnosis business. Like it's all transferable and it comes up every time I'm speaking with a client.

Speaker 1:

Like.

Speaker 2:

I pull from all those experiences all the time.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, boom, cool, cool. Good stuff to keep in mind. Okay, so there, it is Time to step away from the gatekeeper attitude that time is always connected to certain results, or et cetera, et cetera. We went into detail. You understand what I mean. Anything else to add, alana Banks, before we go?

Speaker 2:

One thing I do want to add is I have an event coming up on October 26. It's a Zoom event and it's a really, really important astronomical. Is it astronomical, astrological, astrological?

Speaker 1:

yeah, I mean both. Perhaps.

Speaker 2:

It's a really important astrological event where you can let go of things that aren't serving you and invite in new things that are going to open up so many possibilities for you. So it's going to be a great event. It's on October 26, 8 pm on Zoom. Go to my Instagram at Alana Banks Coaching to get your ticket. The tickets are $20.22. Wait, it's going to be a great event and I'd love to see you there.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Sounds terrific. As for me, I've got a new free Facebook group for you folks, If you want to join it. It's all about social media and having an easier time on social media. As you know, I have the Simple Social Sanctuary, which is $7 a month, but now there's a free group as well. You can find the link in my bio at Ryan Montes NLP, or shoot me a message on Facebook and we'll get you the link. It's really cool. Just opened it a few weeks ago. Already got well more than 300 people that have signed up, and we're having a lot of fun in there. So come join the free Facebook group or you can search for it. It's called the Social Media Success Hub. My face is there in the cover that you'll see me, Okay.

Speaker 2:

Cool.

Speaker 1:

Cool, we're good.

Speaker 2:

Well, that's it, we're out of time.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we're over Cool, all right, thanks, alana. Talk to you next time.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, bye.

Speaker 1:

Bye.

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