No Excuses Coaching with Ryan Montis & Alanna Banks

Five reasons why it's perfectly acceptable to pull the plug on a plan without losing trust.

October 02, 2023 Ryan Montis & Alanna Banks Season 4 Episode 3
No Excuses Coaching with Ryan Montis & Alanna Banks
Five reasons why it's perfectly acceptable to pull the plug on a plan without losing trust.
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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Imagine if changing your plans was acceptable and necessary for personal growth. This episode will help create such a mindset shift.

Alanna shares about an event she's decided to cancel, and a discussion unravels why it's acceptable to adjust or abandon a plan despite commitments.

We share how to skillfully distinguish between moments that demand perseverance and those that call for a change in course.

In leadership, withdrawing from a commitment can be a complex dance. We guide you through that dance by discussing the art of maintaining transparency and honesty with your community while making crucial decisions.

These moments can provide an opportunity for rapport-building, imparting valuable lessons, and revealing your authentic selves.

Be warned, we also discuss the potential pitfalls. Listen for an insightful discussion on the delicate balancing act of changing or cancelling plans.

Book a palm reading or join The Ascension Circle @alannabankscoaching.

Join Ryan's The Simple Social Sanctuary.

A few excellent ways to support us are by subscribing to the podcast on iTunes, Google Play, and Spotify.

Joining the community on Instagram @itsthenoexcusespodcast and learning more about what we offer @alannabankscoaching and www.alannabanks.com and @ryanmontisnlp and www.ryanmontis.com

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Speaker 1:

Hey, Ryan, Hi.

Speaker 2:

Alana.

Speaker 1:

I think I've actually even talked about it on this podcast, but I was going to be hosting a retreat in early November and actually I've got it all planned out, all organized, booked, even.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I'm really excited for it. I got my ticket booked, my place to stay booked the time off, told everyone I'm going to be there Anyway, so do you have an update about it?

Speaker 1:

I have an update and the update is that I've decided I'm not doing it. I'm sorry to disappoint anybody who was planning on attending my very first ever retreat, but yeah, I decided to cancel it and I wanted to talk about that today on the podcast because I think that there is a narrative out there that is important that we follow through on things and we be our word and all of that stuff. And while I agree with a lot of that, for many things, I think that it's also okay to decide that you want to pull the plug on something or cancel something or not do it right now, and that there's no shame in that. You don't have to judge yourself. So, because I've been really thinking about this a lot, I wanted to talk about it on the podcast.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And share a list of reasons why it's okay to cancel something, pull the plug on something, decide you don't want to do it.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah, I was just pretending before everybody. I didn't have a ticket. Her retreat was a women's retreat, so wouldn't have made sense anyways. Anyways, yeah, let's talk about it Sometimes, you know it's like an idea to change our minds about things. There's a difference between quitting and a tactical retreat.

Speaker 1:

I like that yeah.

Speaker 3:

If only a fool would you know march into, you know, certain death out of pride, rather than you know tactically retreat and live to fight another day. Actually, there's some exceptions to what I just said, but you know, in the general sense there are often very good reasons and often it is the wiser choice to change a course of action. Yeah, so I think that's very on as originally planned, so I suppose we'll talk about that today. Yeah, yeah, as I contact Expedia and cancel my accommodation plans this November. Yeah, so do we have a list?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we have a list Five reasons why it's perfectly okay to pull the plug.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Cool, oh my goodness.

Speaker 1:

I almost deleted the list. There we go.

Speaker 3:

Don't do that, because I think that our documents are linked, so if you delete it on your screen, it'll disappear on mine too. There's no redundancy built into this system.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so, and I think actually number one is the number one reason why I decided to cancel my retreat, and that is changing priorities.

Speaker 3:

Changing priorities.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so when I decided I was going to do a retreat, my priorities were different. I was working on different things. I had a different niche. I was focusing a lot of my efforts on sexual freedom, hypnosis and working in that niche and working with people who are having difficulty in that area of their life. And since then, while everything clicked into place and it was easy for me to create the retreat and book things and find a spot and all that stuff, my direction has changed. My priorities have changed, yeah, and I got really into poem reading and that kind of blew up for me this summer and that led into reprioritizing some other areas of my business and what I really like coaching about. It just didn't feel right anymore to run this retreat.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 1:

My priorities changed, and that's okay. I guess what we're saying here is that happens.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you're certain that something's going to happen and life happens and you develop and priorities change and things fall or move out of alignment. Yeah, it happens. Yeah, that's one. I think that's an acceptable reason in many circumstances to make a change.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3:

Yeah Cool.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so number two is self-sufficiency.

Speaker 3:

By the way, before we get to number two. I want to warn the audience of something.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 3:

And it's not in the list, so you're not even aware of what I'm about to say.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 3:

There's a big asterisk and a big caveat attached to all of the items on this list that I'm going to share at the end of the list.

Speaker 1:

Oh, okay.

Speaker 3:

Big, big, watch out audience. You may want to pull over if you're driving. I assume people are always driving. I don't know why.

Speaker 1:

Well, maybe because you're listening to podcasts while you drive.

Speaker 3:

I mainly listen to podcasts when I'm driving, so in my mind, all of our listeners are in a Subaru, because that's what I have just driving around listening to our podcast, which is probably none of them or one of them.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I listen to podcasts while I'm walking.

Speaker 3:

Oh, that's weird.

Speaker 1:

Why is that weird?

Speaker 3:

Well, you're walking.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

That's a safety hazard. How can you hear if a danger is coming?

Speaker 1:

Well, isn't it just as much of a safety hazard to listen to it while you're driving?

Speaker 3:

Well. I have the benefit of a metal frame around me to protect me from the dangers of the world. You know there could be a fearless mugger sneaking up upon you.

Speaker 1:

There could be.

Speaker 3:

Could be, and you're listening to me, gibra Jabran.

Speaker 1:

Well, right now only one of my AirPods works, so I can only listen in one ear, which is very annoying.

Speaker 3:

That's like a 2002 Bluetooth headset where it was just on one side.

Speaker 1:

I need new AirPods.

Speaker 3:

Hear that listeners, so somebody's fishing for a listener. Thank you, gift. If you appreciate the work of Alana Banks on the no Excuses podcast, just go ahead and shoot her a pair of AirPods.

Speaker 2:

Yes, ok.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, please, Number two, please Go ahead oh you want me to go ahead?

Speaker 1:

You're going to say it. A rudely yeah, so number two reason for why it's perfectly OK to pull the plug is self-care and well-being.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, self-care and well-being. Coaches entrepreneurs sometimes they prioritize self-care, often not a good idea.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Often not a good idea.

Speaker 1:

So if you're you know what this makes me think of is, like if you've been working really hard and you're like planning things and doing things not maybe because you want to, but because it's just kind of like you're in that mode maybe just taking one thing off of your plate is perfectly acceptable and OK to prioritize. You prioritize your own self-care and your own well-being, and that's OK. Like, if you feel like you've bitten off more than you can chew, or you don't have time or this is conflicting with something that's of a higher priority for you, then pull the plug on it. You're allowed to do that.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, self-care and well-being. I think this one, for some people, will be connected to a boundary setting. It's sometimes we don't want to disappoint other people, or and I mentioned it or part of us is too proud. We don't want to show others that we're failing at something, or we're worried that people will perceive us as a failure if we make a decision to prioritize our well-being or self-care over a plan that we had previously made. We need to be aware of that and we need to know that sometimes it's okay to change plans on the fly, switch up the course of action that we're going to take.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah Cool.

Speaker 3:

Okay, number next, number three, on the list of reasons that it's okay to. You've used the term pull the plug here in the description of this list, so I guess we'll go with that. Personal growth and self-discovery. Comma not in alignment. Comma opens up space. Maybe you could explain for the listeners and for me what you meant by this point when you wrote it.

Speaker 1:

So first of all, let me be clear about what pulling the plug? I think we all know what pull the plug means, but pull the plug means cancel.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, cancel something. Yeah, break a plan that you've made.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Let it, go down the drain, wash it away. Okay. So what I meant by number three personal growth and self-discovery not in alignment opens up space, okay. So sometimes what happens is say, you think you're going to do something and you've arranged it for far into the future. Then you've had more growth, you've had more self-discovery, you've realized that your priorities have changed or you've learned something new, right, and so what you had planned is no longer in alignment with where you are now in this moment, right, and so you need to clear that space so that you can bring something else in. You know what I mean? That's more in alignment with where you're at right now. So like, for example, actually and I just found out about this today but my retreat is supposed to be at the beginning of November. But you know, I've changed course. I've done a lot of growing over the last several months and I'm recognizing that the retreat I had planned is not in alignment with where I am. And then I learned that there is like something that's more in alignment coming up that's around the same time as my what would be my retreat. And now that's opened up space for me to potentially pursue these psychic markets that are coming up in November. That feel way more in alignment with what I'm doing right now.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, often that happens. There's a tough decision we need to make. We make that decision, it creates space and then all of a sudden something really good shows up to occupy that space. The tricky part is a lot of times you're not gonna know until you make the decision, which is interesting.

Speaker 1:

Which is the scary part.

Speaker 3:

Which is the scary part. Also, you know you've got in there personal growth. When is it okay to pull the plug? Maybe you know part of your journey, ladies and gentlemen, is that you're averse to withdrawing from things once you've committed to them, and you need to build that muscle right If that's a fear or a challenge. Or you think back in your past and you have a series of things that you participated in that you knew you shouldn't have and then you went through it just because you didn't wanna pull the plug. Maybe part of your journey right now is to learn how to do so.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, when you need to.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. Well and this recently happened for me, because I have a hard time pulling the plug. Yeah, I have a hard time saying no or backing out of something for fear that like it's gonna make things worse or that thing is gonna go away. You know what I mean. And so I recently had this and we were talking about it I don't think we were talking about it on the podcast, but I had an opportunity kind of just fall into my lap, but then when I found out what the date was, I wasn't available on that date. Like I was available but it was not completely perfect for me, yeah, and so I was stressing about it, but finally I'd got up the courage to say I'm not available on that date, but like I'd love to keep in touch and explore more options and everything. And then the response to that was oh, that's fine, we can do it on another date, it doesn't have to be that date. So then it just like opened up so much expansion for me because I was like, wow, I did this thing that scared me by saying no and expressing what I really need and want, and it turned out to be better than I could have expected.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So that was huge confirmation for my subconscious mind that it's okay to pull the plug on some things or say no or like ask for what I want. Yeah, right so that's the self discovery too, and recognizing that sometimes it opens up space for you to expand further into like what you want.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, exactly, exactly.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so that's a good one.

Speaker 1:

There you go. That's a really good one.

Speaker 3:

Number three hot point right there A few gems in there. Okay, number what's number four?

Speaker 1:

Number four is honesty and transparency with your community. Ooh, yeah, so do you want to go ahead?

Speaker 3:

Honesty and transparency with your community. I think I know what you're going to say. Why don't you go ahead? And then I'll add my little bit.

Speaker 1:

When you pull the plug on something and you're honest and transparent about it with your community, then that gives them permission to do the same thing or show up in the same way, but it also shows your community that you have integrity and that you're human. You know like you're a real person. That's not this like robotic version of you who just does everything perfectly.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:

I think honesty and transparency with your community, yeah, and also, like this, is an opportunity to build rapport. It's okay to be a little bit vulnerable with your following right, or if things go wrong, right. And also you don't need to give this perception to the people that learn from you, or that you lead that your life is perfect and everything is perfect, and you make plans and you never, ever, change them or anything, because no one's going to believe that to be true anyways. So you might as well. You know your followers have the same opportunity to learn from the decisions you make and the changes you make and the times you pull the plug as much as you do, or maybe more, because they may benefit from the learning without the drawback of actually being the one who had to pull the plug on an event or something like that. So, yeah, look at it as if you do get to the point where you're pulling the plug on something. Is it an opportunity for not just you to grow, but for you to guide others? And now you've got a teaching story under your belt, right, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

I love that. And then number five trusting your good old intuition.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes you just know that it's not the time right now. Like I know with 100% certainty at some point I'm going to run a retreat, I know it's going to happen.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

It's just not time right now for me to do that, and I know that like it just doesn't feel right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. And so, even though everything was clicking into place and you know I was able to like logistically organize everything, what I was going to be teaching at that event or the retreat wasn't clear for me and it wasn't like clicking into place, like it wasn't feeling easy. I was like I felt like I was forcing creation. Yeah, and that was always a sticking point for me because I was like I feel like it should just come naturally and it wasn't. Yeah, yeah, I had to trust my gut and just say not right now, put my ego aside and just and even though I'd already kind of like put it out there I'd created a webpage, like you know, I invested a lot of money into even learning how to design a retreat and I had to like, yeah, put my ego aside and just be like I'm going to use that knowledge, but not right now.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, exactly, I like that yeah.

Speaker 3:

Is it just about time for my bombshell?

Speaker 1:

I think so. Yeah, I want to know what it is. Can I guess before you drop it or no?

Speaker 3:

It's a free country Banks go for it.

Speaker 1:

So initially, when you said that, I was thinking okay, is there a limiting belief here?

Speaker 3:

Is there a limiting belief here?

Speaker 1:

Yeah that you know. Am I bumping up against some type of limiting belief? But I'm just pulling the plug because it's easier for me to pull the plug or the editorial you to pull the plug.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Like am I running away from something that could be even more expansive?

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

No, that's not really what I was going to say.

Speaker 1:

Okay, good no. Because I honestly don't think I am, because I've really been like thinking about this and like if someone held a gun to my head and was, just like you have to do the retreat, I would do it and I'm sure it would be fine and it would be great, but right now it just doesn't feel right for me, which tells me that I'm not running away from it because I'm afraid.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I just truly believe that's not right now the time for me.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. So what I was going to say doesn't really, I don't believe, applies to you in this situation. What I was going to say is people out there, especially people who are newer to entrepreneurship a lot of them will air too often on the side of pulling the plug on stuff or pulling the plug too early.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

And the way that manifests is that the things that we've listed here today changing priorities, self-care, et cetera, et cetera instead of being used as valid reasons and evidence, people use these as justifications and excuses.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Right, and they layer them on top of the real reason that they're pulling the plug, which is fear, and so I want to bring that into everybody's awareness, right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

You know you really have to be in touch with yourself and know if you've committed to do something, something that was important to you. Are you really pulling the plug because you're prioritizing self care, or your priorities have genuinely changed, or et cetera, et cetera, or is it a smoke screen coming from the part of you that is very concerned with keeping you safe and it's giving you an easy out to justify? You know, pulling the plug right Because we want to be aware of that and we don't want to fall into that trap. If we genuinely are, you know, protecting ourselves and prioritizing self care because we must and it's a good idea, great Change your plans. But if it is sneaky fear of rejection or fear of success or fear of failure, masquerading as changing priority or intuition, or et cetera, et cetera, you know that's a recipe to stay stuck. That's a recipe to stay stuck for a lot of people. And if you're not sure, talk to somebody. If you have a coach, talk to your coach, a trusted friend who's kind of walked the walk before. Talk to them, because sometimes you can't know on your own which it is.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, true, very true. Yeah, I had a thought when you were talking and it's gone now.

Speaker 2:

Where'd it go.

Speaker 1:

It escaped me. It escaped me Anyway, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I think we made our point. Cool, all right, all right. So that's it. So if you've got something going on and you know it's time to pull the plug, pull the plug, as long as it's not fear based. Yeah, yeah, well I know what I was going to say when you were talking about when you give up too early. You know this is very common in entrepreneurship, where you put in a bit of time, like a couple of months, and you're not getting any traction. People tend to give up or they'll change a niche or they'll bounce around. But if you think about it in the long term, like a year from now, if you just stick with that thing, then chances are you will start seeing some traction. Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, also very true.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Cool, all right.

Speaker 1:

You know what else is true. What's that you?

Speaker 3:

know, what else is true?

Speaker 1:

What.

Speaker 3:

But the first three people who messaged me with the word sanctuary, I'll give them a free month in my simple social sanctuary.

Speaker 1:

Oh.

Speaker 3:

Try it out, the first three people. So if you're hearing this episode, pull over in your Subaru and find me on Instagram. Ryan Montes NLP, message me the word sanctuary first month of simple social sanctuary social media, training, community and coaching on me.

Speaker 1:

Love it.

Speaker 3:

No commitment required.

Speaker 1:

I love it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Now I'm thinking hmm, what could I offer of equivalent? I know the first five people who messaged me with palm reading. I'll put your names in a hat and pick one and give you a free palm reading. Cool so you have a one in five chance.

Speaker 2:

How about that? Pretty good Good.

Speaker 3:

Making some hot offers here today.

Speaker 1:

Oh, and my Instagram is Adalina Banks coaching Cool.

Speaker 3:

Nobody. Not one person asked for the duck meme.

Speaker 1:

Really.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, nobody.

Speaker 1:

I'm so surprised, I know, oh well, maybe they will.

Speaker 3:

That's a reference to the last week's episode.

Speaker 1:

ladies and people, Okay, all right, that's it.

Speaker 3:

Bye everyone.

Speaker 1:

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.

Reasons to Cancel or Change Plans
Leadership