No Excuses Coaching with Ryan Montis & Alanna Banks

Overcome the Fear of Being Seen

August 28, 2023 Ryan Montis & Alanna Banks Season 3 Episode 19
No Excuses Coaching with Ryan Montis & Alanna Banks
Overcome the Fear of Being Seen
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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Can you envision yourself confidently stepping into the limelight, sharing your entrepreneurial journey without fear? Venture with me, Alana Banks, as we delve deep into the often-unspoken dread of being seen that plagues many entrepreneurs.

In this episode, I dissect this fear, fueled by self-doubt and imposter syndrome, that could stealthily sabotage your path to success.

I'm committed to helping you redefine fear and transform it from a crippling obstruction to a catalyst for growth.

I guide you through five practical steps to conquer this apprehension and embrace your visibility unapologetically. We'll explore the power of grounding yourself in your purpose and values, the strength in showcasing vulnerability and the beauty in imperfect action.

We don't stop there! I also share a short healing session crafted to help navigate and tackle this fear, enabling you to step into the light with renewed confidence.

So, grab your water cocktail, silence your fear, leap, and seize the opportunities waiting just beyond. Join me in this episode; let's conquer this journey together!

A few excellent ways to support us are by subscribing to the podcast on iTunes, Google Play, and Spotify.

Joining the community on Instagram @itsthenoexcusespodcast and learning more about what we offer @alannabankscoaching and www.alannabanks.com and @ryanmontisnlp and www.ryanmontis.com

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Speaker 1:

Hey everyone, it's Alana Banks, and this week is just me. Ryan is away having some much deserved hangout time. He's been working so hard and he's away this week, so we decided that the show must go on and I'm just going to do a solo episode. And it's really cool because I've been hanging out in Ryan's simple social sanctuary and Alana has been coming up around this whole idea of the fear of being seen. So I thought this week we would dive into what that means for you as an entrepreneur and how that can be potentially sabotaging your success, but also how you can overcome that fear of being seen. So we're going to talk a little bit about that today, and I really want you to imagine for a minute what it would feel like if you could go online, go on social media, hop on a live and put yourself out there and really speak your truth, be vulnerable, show up without fear, without judgment of yourself, without it needing to be perfect, and how would that feel? How would that feel to be able to go and do that? This is something that a lot of entrepreneurs have a hard time with. They have so much magic within them. They feel really good about the service that they put out there, they have amazing results, with their clients wanting to make such an impact, but the one thing that's holding them back is this whole idea of putting themselves out there, right, being seen showing up on social media. So let's dive into that a little bit today and you may be shaking your head, thinking, yeah, that's totally me, and I can remember feeling that way too when I first started out as an entrepreneur about 10 years ago. It was also when social media was kind of just getting started and it was a challenge to flip the camera around on myself and to show up as me. And a lot of that stems from this fear, right? This fear of judgment from friends, family, people, fear of criticism, right? What are people going to say? What if they don't like what I have to say? You're really putting yourself out there to be criticized. There's this whole idea of this fear of failure. What if I put myself out there as this solopreneur? Or what if I put my business out there and it doesn't work? That's also something that you might be afraid of. And then, of course, the most popular fear, probably among a lot of entrepreneurs, but that whole idea of imposter syndrome, right, like I'm not good enough. I'm not there yet. I'm not. I don't have enough followers, so who am I to be thinking that I can put myself out there? And here's the thing these are all fears, these are all excuses that are standing in the way of just putting yourself out there. And a lot of the people that are listening to this podcast, you're all coaches. Some of you are probably hypnotherapists. Some of you do deep release work. Some of you help your clients shift their beliefs, overcome fears, and so it's time to flip the switch and practice what you preach. Right, start knocking off your fears one by one, so that you can put yourself out there. Because the thing is, is this fear of being seen is preventing you from having the success that you really want? Right? It's preventing you from getting your message out there, shining your light, having the impact that you really want to have. And a lot of the time, this fear, it's rooted in self-doubt. Right, it's rooted in this feeling of maybe not feeling good enough or not being good enough, which moves into this fear of judgment, which moves into feeling like you're a fraud, feeling like you're imposter. You know, let's step back for a second right and look at where you are at and where is this root of your fear coming from? Which one of these is really really speaking to you? And here's the thing, right, it's totally a natural response. It's a natural response because, by putting yourself out there, you're having to be vulnerable, and that is the whole point of entrepreneurship. It's not really the whole point, but it's just what happens. That's the inherent risk of being involved in entrepreneurship. So, recognizing these fears, recognizing what the root cause of why you don't want to show up or why you don't want to be seen, or maybe what's preventing you from showing up on social media it's really important to discover what that root cause is so that you can clear it out, so that you can push through the comfort zone and allow yourself to fully embrace your visibility and really seize the opportunities that social media has to offer for your own growth and recognition. So I've got a list of five ways entrepreneurs can overcome the fear of being seen, and this is really going to help you get to the root of what is going on here. And before we wrap up, I'm going to do a little healing session, which is just a little bit of my own flavor added to the Nox Uces podcast. But let's figure out what the fear is, let's figure out how you can overcome it and then let's heal it before the end of this episode. Sound good, okay? The first point on the list in the five ways entrepreneurs can overcome the fear of being seen is to redefine your relationship with fear. So, rather than seeing fear as a sign of weakness or vulnerability, choose to see it as just a natural part of the growth process. Right, embrace your fear as an opportunity for learning and expansion, just like anything else in your life that's new or that's pushing you out of comfort zone. You know you're going to have some fear around that, but really fear is just. Well, when I think of fear, I think of fear as something that I experience when I want to go after something or do something or experience something that means a lot to me. Right, that's when we often have a lot of fear. And if you can shift your perspective and look at fear as just a sign that you want it so bad that you are so lined with this thing that you want to put that message out there and knowing that it's just a natural part of the growth to move through it, then don't you just want to go after it? Don't you want to go after the thing that you really want? Don't you want to expand and learn and grow and mess up? And you know, just push through that fear. Wouldn't you tell your clients that exact same thing? So, you know, really reframe that belief for yourself and look at it as an opportunity to grow, look at it as an opportunity to learn, look at it as an opportunity to get closer to your desire, closer to your goal. And, before you know it, you know you're going to be learning so much and moving through it and recognizing that there's actually nothing to be afraid of, right? Okay, so the second point is clarify your purpose and values. And what this means is when you have a clear sense of your purpose and values, it becomes easier to navigate the fear of being seen. So knowing why right why you're doing what you're doing and what you stand for, that can really help ground you in your authenticity and give you the courage to be visible. So, kind of back to what I was saying at point one right, often we're afraid of things that we really, really want. So once you can really clarify why you're doing the thing you're doing, why you're wanting to be visible, why you're wanting to be seen, then it's going to be a lot easier for you to get grounded in that knowing right dropping from your head and into your heart and getting really grounded in why you're doing what you're doing. And often, when you are so clear about your purpose and the value that you offer, the fear goes away, right, because you're just so confident, you're energetically matched to what you're putting out there. And when you're in that vibe, then you show up as just you. You're not showing up as someone you think you have to show up, as so often when you just clarify what your purpose is and really you know, do an exercise where you just drop from your head into your heart, ask yourself why am I doing this stuff? Why do I want to put my message out there? Who do I want to help? Why do I want to help them? And maybe check in with your own story, because oftentimes coaches have their own story about what they've overcome and that's why they're pursuing this interest right of helping others. So when you can really get grounded in that knowing of what it is that you want to do, what your purpose is, why you're doing what you're doing, then it's easy to show up as you and you don't care about what people have to say, because it's so important to you and so impactful. Okay, so the third point is practice vulnerability. Vulnerability often goes hand in hand with the fear of being seen. Right, because when we're vulnerable, we're really putting ourselves out there. We're putting what we believe, what we think, what we value, we're putting our heart out onto the table for everybody to see, and that can feel really scary. But here's the thing right, vulnerability can also be a source of strength and connection, because when we're vulnerable, people see something in themselves, in you. Right, when you're sharing from the heart, when you're being authentic, when you're being real, when you're being honest, when you're sharing personal information about yourself and I don't mean oversharing, but just being vulnerable, putting yourself out there that gives people the courage to do the same thing and it creates a source of strength. And it creates connection. Right, because we're always looking for that human connection and your story might resonate with someone else's story and that creates a bond, right, that creates connection, that creates strength and people feel that and they want to be around that and they want to experience that, because then they don't feel alone. Right. When you're sharing your story and it resonates with someone else, they don't feel alone anymore. So by practicing vulnerability in your relationships and in your business, with your coaching clients, you can really cultivate deeper connections with your audience, with the people that you work with, with your colleagues, with people you're collaborating with, and this is just going to give you a deeper source. So sometimes, to overcome that fear, it's often easier to just be vulnerable, share a personal story, share why you got involved in this type of work, share what you wish you'd known before you got started in this work. Now that you've gone down the path, these are all really great opportunities to share and be vulnerable and these are the points of connection where people are going to really see you as value. Right, because it's just not sharing tips and tricks and information. It's a balance and I think we've talked about this before on this podcast, but it's a real balance between the vulnerable shares and then sharing informative posts. Right, tips and tricks and strategies. That's how you really build the community and build the following. So that actually takes us into point four, which is to build a supportive community. Entrepreneurship can be a lonely journey, but it doesn't have to be when you connect with like-minded individuals and join mastermind groups or join communities like Ryan's Simple Social Sanctuary, attend networking events, just build relationships with other coaches that inspire you and support you, that can provide a lot of encouragement and motivation and can help alleviate that fear of being seen, because you're going to have a portion of your following are going to be other coaches or other people who you're friends with within the community who are going to start liking and sharing your stuff and commenting, and that's just a boost of confidence. When I got started out with coaching, I joined groups. I started making friends with other coaches, I collaborated with people because that just gave me a boost of confidence to put myself out there more and show up more and be visible and create more of a community. It's like a sub-community within your community. The coaches that cheer you on, the people, the friends, the family that support you those are all really important too, and that's also going to help you overcome that fear of being seen. You can even ask some of your coaching friends or even family members or friends that aren't even in the coaching stage to just like your stuff to give you a bit of a boost. That's what I did early on. I would sometimes tag some of my friends and just be like I tagged you in a post, can you like it? Because even though it's a small vanity metric to get someone to like your stuff, it gives you a boost, and then also it helps other people like your stuff or start commenting, because no one wants to be the first one. And then finally, we're at number five already. That was fast. Take imperfect action, and Ryan and I have talked about this before. Perfectionism can often be a barrier to your visibility. If you're suffering from analysis paralysis, if you're sitting and working for hours on an Instagram post, stop doing that right now. Promise me you're going to stop doing that now and just take imperfect action. Just the damn post, put it up there. Because if you're waiting for everything to be perfect before you're putting yourself out there, that's going to hold you back. That's going to hold you back from your success. It's going to hold you back from getting your message out there. It's going to hold you back from creating a community of people who love and support you, and when you're imperfect, that gives permission for other people to be imperfect. So give yourself permission to take imperfect action. Take small steps towards your visibility, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Because with practice you're going to build confidence and build momentum in being seen. Your first video is going to suck. It's your first post is going to suck and as you keep moving it's going to get better and better and better and you're going to look back on your old stuff and be like, oh my God, that's so embarrassing, but who cares? At least you're getting your message out there. We all start somewhere, so take that imperfect action. So really, by implementing these five topics or these five tips that I've shared with you, you can really start to overcome the fear of being seen and step into that greater visibility and impact in your business. So just a recap Number one was redefine your relationship with fear. Number two was clarify your purpose and values. Figure out really why you're doing the thing you're doing. Get grounded in that knowing. Number three is practice vulnerability. Get out there and do the vulnerable shares, share your own experiences. People love hearing about that kind of thing. Number four was build a supportive community. Find other coaches that are going to support you. Collaborate with other people, do lives with other coaches, and this supportive community is going to provide you encouragement. Join Ryan's simple social sanctuary. I've also got something that I'm launching that I'm really excited about, called the Ascension Circle, and it's also an alternative to coaching for solopreneurs, healers, business owners, and it's a group where we will meet twice monthly to have a call where you can brainstorm, you can ask questions, you can put offers out there, ask for coaching. We'll do some release work, we'll do some healing kind of like what we're going to be doing in a couple of minutes, and then you will also have access to a private Facebook group where you're going to be able to meet like-minded solopreneurs, lightworkers, healers, coaches that are going to be there to support you. So if you want to have more information about the Ascension Circle, you can send me a message or find me on Instagram at AlanaBanksCoaching and you'll see more information about that there. And then, finally, the last point was take imperfect action. This is crucial and we've talked about this so much on this podcast. Just go for it. So, as I said at the beginning, we're just going to do a short healing practice to help you address and overcome that fear of being seen. So if you're listening to this and you're not driving or operating any kind of machinery, take a minute to find a quiet and comfortable space and just relax and feel at ease and close your eyes and just take a few deep breaths. You just call on yourself, allow your body to settle. And now I want you to bring your attention to the fear of being seen. Bring your attention to the fear of being seen that you're experiencing and notice where you feel it in your body. Perhaps it's like a tightness in your chest, or maybe it's a knot in your stomach. Just notice where you feel that in your body, wherever you feel it. For you and now I want you to imagine this fear as a ball of energy In that area of your body. Just feel that fear, or imagine that fear as a ball of energy In that area of your body. And I want you to visualize this fear as a ball of energy. And I want you to visualize this ball of energy as a vibrant color. What color is it and what shape is it? And as you continue to breathe deeply and feel relaxed, send love and acceptance to this ball of fear and visualize it softening and becoming lighter with each breath, Sending that fear love and acceptance, meeting it with compassion. And as you do this, it softens and becomes lighter and lighter. And now I invite you to bring to mind a time when you felt truly seen and appreciated for who you are. Bring to mind a time when you felt truly seen and appreciated for who you are. It could have been a past accomplishment, a supportive relationship, a moment of self-acceptance, whatever that is. Just bring it to mind now and allow yourself to fully embody the feelings of being seen, appreciated, celebrated. Feel the warmth, the love and the acceptance surrounding you now Feel how wonderful that feels and, with this positive energy and mindset, gently shift your focus back to the fear of being seen and remind yourself that you are worthy, you are capable and deserving of being seen in all your authentic brilliance. And I want you to feel that warmth and love and acceptance surround that ball of energy, that feeling of warmth and love and acceptance engulfing that feeling in your body. And now that feeling is overwhelming you and say to yourself now I release my fear of being seen. I embrace my uniqueness and the value I bring. I am ready to step into the spotlight with confidence and authenticity. I am ready to be vulnerable. I am ready to be seen. I am willing and able to share my value. I will take imperfect action and shift that belief now into a feeling, a knowing that you're always growing, you're always learning and each time you're showing up, each time you're being seen, you're impacting so many people. And take a few more deep breaths now, feeling that transformation taking place within you through every cell of your being, and bring your hand to your heart and just take one more deep breath in and when you're ready, you can open your eyes and bring your attention back to the present moment. Welcome back. I trust you're feeling amazing. I trust you're ready to just put yourself out there and be seen. I suggest you rewind and listen to this again. Your healing takes practice, so be patient and be compassionate with yourself as you navigate and overcome the fear of being seen, and return to this practice whenever you need a boost, a boost of confidence and reassurance on your journey of visibility and self-expression. I know that all of our no excuses listeners are amazing people who bring so much magic to the world and you need to be seen to bring that magic. So that's it for today. Ryan will be back next week and we will be back with another awesome episode of the no Excuses Podcast. Remember to follow us on our Instagram at it's the no Excuses Podcast. No, it's the no Excuses Coaching Podcast, and last week we launched our YouTube channel. So periodically I've been uploading episodes from season two onto YouTube. So you can check out our YouTube channel it's called the no Excuses Coaching Podcast. If you just search that on YouTube or if you go to our Instagram at it's the no Excuses Coaching Podcast. The link is in our bio. But it's been really fun going back through season two. We had some really amazing episodes in season two that you know, when you go back and you listen to stuff, you're like wow, that was so good. I'm having these aha moments. So go check that out and we'll talk to you next week. Thanks everyone.

Overcoming the Fear of Being Seen
Overcoming Fear of Being Seen